Why do I love you?
by CharityHope
Summary: My first non song fic. Hey, it's not gonna be the best thing. But hahah! It'll be good. Lily tells James she loves him. He moved on...sorta. What happens? You know, but you still want to read this, you know it.
1. Lily POVRight?

…**Right?**

I opened my eyes to the bright light coming in through the Hogwarts windows. _Curse those windows_. I thought. I really didn't want to face today. After all, would anyone after something like this happened to them? I sat up groggily just to be greeted by the cheery noise of Alice,

"Good morning Lily!" She exclaimed as if the morning was the best creation God had the liberty of giving us.

"Hi, Alice," I told her. I sat up and sighed, I _really_ wasn't looking forward to today.

"Why the sad mood, Lily?" Emma asked. Emmaline Vance, not your usual happy peppy person, but today you couldn't see her happier.

"What do you think?" I asked.

"Oh…" she said, at a loss for words. "Well it could have been worse…I mean at least you didn't like say it…in a bad way…"

"I did," I reminded her.

"Oh…well forget that," she said, putting her arm around my shoulders. "At least it's out in the open now. You don't have to hide forever again."

"I wasn't hiding forever Emma! It just sort of slipped out…" I took in her and Alice's disbelieving faces, "Okay…maybe it had been going on for a while…but only this year! I mean…I hated him!...But then we were both made head students and he started being nice…and he wasn't a complete prat…and his head wasn't so inflatable."

Emma and Alice nodded in agreement.

"I see what you mean," Alice told me. "You did hate him…and to say it out loud is pretty embarrassing…but we can't dwell on this!" She jumped up and pulled me up with her, her round face alight with happiness. "Today is Hogsmede, we shall go to the Three Broomsticks and drink butterbeer and this will all be forgotten."

"And you'll be with us." Emma put her arm around my other side.

"But-"

"No "buts" Lily Evans!" Alice chirped, "Look, what happened to you _was_ embarrassing. But you have to look at the good points. We'll be with you today, _he_ hasn't said anything to you yet, so he probably won't today,"

"And if anyone tries to tease you about it we'll hex them so bad they won't be able to tell their head from their tentacles." Emma added as a last resort to make me laugh…it worked.

"Thanks guys," I hugged them.

"Anytime." Emma grinned brightly.

"Now, time to get ready!" Alice said. Emma and I rolled our eyes as she began to usher us to our beds and throw clothes at us.

As I was getting ready with my friends, and talking about our day to Hogsmede my recent thoughts of skipping the whole day in my room seemed stupid. I mean after all, confessing your love for James Potter right in the middle of the great hall during dinner, because the prat made you so mad at him, _with_ his girlfriend right next to him, wasn't too bad of a thing…right?


	2. Lily POVPlan

Walking down to Hogsmede was easier than I expected. Nobody went around pointing at me and snickering behind their hands like I expected them too. When I asked Emma and Alice why they didn't answer at first.

"Come on you two!" I was begging now.

"Well…it's because we sort of…" but Emma didn't finish.

"You sort of what?"

"We sort of already knew it was bound to happen…" Alice finished.

"No!" I moaned, "Don't tell me the whole school was taking bets on how fast I would fall for James the whole school year and I didn't know about it!" Emma and Alice shook their heads. I sighed,

"Not _exactly_," Alice told me, which got me nervous again. "We started taking bets after the whole Halloween incident."

"James told everyone about that!" They shook their heads,

"Sirius did." They answered simultaneously.

"Oh, just wait until I get my hands around his scrawny neck!" I practically screamed. Nobody heard me except for a group of third years, they glanced at me and snickered and then started walking again.

"Calm down Lily!" Emma said, "It isn't so bad! At least you…well didn't say what you said last night." I almost screamed with frustration.

"Yeah it is!" I said in a whisper. "Do you know how badly I probably hurt James that day? I told him to practically go shove himself down some pipe and let himself rot there, and see if I cared!" I put one hand on my forehead.

"Well…he didn't tell us how badly James was hurt…maybe that was why he told everyone about it…maybe to get back at you?" Emma said, putting pieces together in her head. I sighed,

"And that also explains why Sirius hasn't even spoken to me since Halloween." I said under my breath. It didn't bother me now to speak about this…after all it had been happening for months now…but I still felt a ping in my chest. And it hurt.

"Well I'll be damned," Emma said under her voice. I turned around to see, _her_, crying.

"Why is Jessica crying?" I wondered out loud, but softly so only Alice and Emma could hear me.

"Who knows? But judging by the look on her face right now as she just looked at you…she thinks it has something to do with you…maybe James-"

"Don't say it," I hissed to Emma, "Don't even _think_ it. He wouldn't do that." It was then that I was blocked by the very people I _did not_ want to see today…well two of them at least.

"My dear flower how are you doing today?" Sirius asked me as if he hadn't just ignored me for that past who-knows-how-many weeks. Remus was with him…and he didn't look to happy, I mean after what happened to the guy last full moon, I kind of expected it…but now he looked _really _upset.

"What do you want Black?" I asked.

He looked shocked.

"My dear Lily Flower! Under the circumstances I think you should call me Sirius." I huffed and glared. That's all the answer he needed. "Okay…maybe not then…but the point is…I think we need a talk." I glanced at Emma and Alice sadly, knowing those two I wouldn't be able to bring them with me.

"Okay…" I sighed and followed them…their eyes followed me until we got away from the public. We were by the shrieking shack…_this place gives me the creeps._ I thought.

"Now Lily," it was Remus who spoke, "we need to come up with a plan."

"For what?"

"James is in denial." Sirius told me.

**((Cliffy! Haha, anyways, I wanna thank these two people xHeavelyxBrokenx and piggy396 for their nice reviews. So far you two are the only one's who read this…Thankyou! And this is for you two. And I know these are overly asked, but one, REVIEWS!!...they make me feel special, and then second, CRITISM…I like GOOD critism…like 'Maybe you should work on this…yadayada"…NOT "Wow…this story sucks…" okay I'll stop…I'm ranting. And my last question, PLOT OR STORY IDEAS? I also write Twilight fics…and other than this fic I am in CREATER'S BLOCK…I need help…please? Adios!))**


	3. Lily POVPlan One

**Plan One**

I woke up bright and early with a smile on my face, which really surprised me. I was so nervous I couldn't think straight. And I'm not talking your usual not-thinking-straight nervousness…I'm talking your OH MY GOD…OH MY GOD…OH MY GOD type of nervousness, so as you should see, I SHOULDN'T be smiling. I mean come on…what _normal_ girl smiles at a time like this? What _normal_ girl smiles in her _sleep_ when this is happening?

I sighed and rolled over. I had a major headache…thanks to Black. I really need to kill him by poking my wand in his eye sometime soon. Really. I stood up on shaky legs, thank God it was a Sunday. I walked over to my clothes and got dressed. I looked in my mirror and was surprised. I looked…different…not your usual different…but I looked _good_ different. My hair wasn't its usual gloppy mess…my face was more pretty than it had ever looked.

"Oh. My. God." I heard Alice practically scream. "Emma! Emma, get up! Emma, it worked!"

"Wha-?" Emma asked. She was having morning-I-don't-wanna-get-up-because-of-all-the-bloody-butterbeer syndrome. Alice sighed impatiently, she was somehow immune to that sort of stuff, I think God blessed her.

"Emma, get you skinny little arse outta bed at look at Lily!" She yelled. Emma listened…when she looked at me her eyes widened…she wiped her eyes…and then looked at me again.

"It worked…" she said real low.

"No, duh!" Alice squealed. "Jamesey doesn't stand a chance! But what to do with Jessica…she's always first to jump-"

"We won't think about that. And stop calling him Jamesey! It's James…get it? J-A-M-E-S!" I snapped. The last thing I wanted on my mind was Potter's ex going after me. She'd not only kill me for 'stealing' her boyfriend. Although how could it be stealing…he didn't even look at me yesterday when I walked by him in the Three Broomsticks (with his two mates might I add) and that worried not only me but his mates as well. Not to mention he hasn't been, well,…James. After the Halloween incident he still was joking sometimes…although his eyes weren't quite as sparkly. But now they were just…dead. Why though? He should be jumping off the floor happy and giddy. Asking me out…I thought with a sigh. I brought the conversation up with Alice and Emma. They looked at each other…and then to me.

"You really meant it?" They asked.

"Meant what?" I asked in a small voice.

"What you just said," Emma said. "That you are really worried for him…" I nodded my head. When I replayed having this conversation happening before all this I expected it'd be as hard as hell to do…but it felt easy…comforting to say that.

"Well…I think I was expecting this." Alice looked sheepish…her head was bent and her shoulders were risen just a fraction of an inch.

"How?" I asked.

"Well…when you said it…you said something. I know you didn't mean to…but you were trying to save your dumb arse, but something you said was a lie." Alice said. I nodded my head to tell her to go on. "You said he gave up on you…and you understood that you could never be together." She said simply.

"But Alice, he _did_ move on." I told her.

"No he didn't," Emma said. "You were just so concentrating on not getting jealous when he was around with Jessica that you didn't notice…his eyes were dead before now…whenever he looked at you…he sort of…well looked like he was about to throw himself out of a window." I widened my eyes, and then I did something that raging hormones make you do…I cried. (Involuntarily of course…but what could I have done to stop them?) I cried real long and hard, and in the process I grabbed my hair in my hands and almost ripped it out.

"I-I'm s-s-so d-damn ST-TUPID!" I said. Emma and Alice quickly grabbed my hands making me let go of my hair,

"You are _not _stupid Lily Evans!" Emma said.

"You are the farthest thing from stupid!" Alice agreed, "you didn't know!"

"But I should have!" I sobbed. Emma and Alice sobbed and let go of my wrists.

"Lily I think-" Emma started, but I cut her off.

"No, Emma. I want to be alone," I told her and I got up. I walked out of the girl's seventh year dorm and ran down the stairs. It was so early the common room was empty. I ran out of the room and up to the one place I knew that Emma and Alice wouldn't be.

Walking by the door three times I thought, _I need a place to be where no one can find me._ I thought this three times. Opening the door I ran in blindly and threw myself on the couch of the small room.

"Bloody hell!" I heard someone say. He (the voice was obviously male) sounded really irritated…and familiar.

"James!" I practically screamed as I sat up to find him in the single arm chair.

"What are _you_ doing here?" he asked standing up. He didn't sound any happier that it was me.

"I…I…" I didn't know what to say. That I was crying for something that I just now noticed I did days later? That I was sorry? For everything…? While I was still trying to figure out what to say, James stood up.

"Never mind I asked…apparently I don't need to be told." He stormed out of the room.

"James!" I called. "James I need to-!" but he walked out and slammed the door. Before he walked out I heard him say something. I wasn't paying attention to what it was. I plopped down on the couch and sobbed. Well, clearly, being more pretty _hadn't_ helped.

I got up and opened the door, ready to go tell Black off, but when the door opened again he was already there.

"Lily," he started but stopped as soon as he saw my face.

"What happened?" Remus asked, his voice worried.

"Nothing…" I told them then I bogey hexed Black.

"What the hell?" he asked trying to get them off. Remus quickly muttered the counter curse and then looked back at me.

"I have to agree," he said, "what was that for?"

"For the bloody plan not working!" I said. I was crying again too.

"You're really _that_ upset?" Sirius asked, disbelieving.

"I wouldn't be so upset, if it hadn't been for some reason that James looked at me with the _purest. Glare. Of. Hate._" I told him. He sighed and closed his eyes,

"James you're an idiot." I heard him whisper. Remus nodded with down-cast eyes.

"What now?" I asked. Sirius looked up at me, he had on a look of determination that could only be matched by that he got when he was playing quidditch.

"We come up with another plan." He said simply.

"What if it doesn't work?" I asked.

"Then we keep going until he sees what he refuses to see," Remus spoke up.

**((OH MY!!! Those reviews were excellent…although I'd like more. I'm not gonna make a certain amount I have to get to until I update just so I don't end up getting yelled at. And I don't know if I could not write this for so long. And yes, I realize this chapter was longer than the other ones…four-and-a-half pages on Word. But I'm warning…you shouldn't get used to it…the only reason this one wasn't so long was so there was no cliffy…I like cliffies though. Haha. Anyways, MORE REVIEWS!!! PLEASE. If I don't get 15 reviews by DIFFERENT people by the next couple chapters…I might take a little break!! Haha…jkjk. But I really want some. Oh, also, PLOT IDEAS!!!))**


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